God

Painting of a purple iris created by Tressa Mancini in collaboration with AI.

AI Art: Iris of Promise

AI Art, Thoughts and Essays

AI art generators are sending ripples through the art world. Some fear this technology, while others embrace it. I was terrified of it. I wrote a long post decrying it during a moment when I was caught up in fear and depression. I deleted that article. Instead, I want to tell a story of personal victory.

On Friday (06/03/22), God said to me during a time of prayer, “Do not fear! Your skills in writing and design are not in vain! Do not fear computer tools but embrace them.” I then promptly forget about this.

Saturday, June 4th, rolls around. I find myself on Night Cafe, an AI art generating service. With the Lord’s help, I worked up the courage to experiment with the technology I feared. The featured image in this post – the purple iris – is the result of my experimentation. I was pleasantly surprised!

Today (06/05/22) I opened my prayer journal to see the above quote. I had done what He said, and God walked through my fears with me! I was telling one of my pastors about this, and she asked me what color the iris was. When I said it was purple, she said that purple irises symbolically mean the promise of God. She had a bouquet of irises at her wedding for this reason (more on the symbolism of irises in Christianity here).

This led to a moment of awe for me – I was reverently astonished at how God worked in my life. I took a risk and stepped into my fear, and God helped me through it. In the end, He showed me a new form of beauty and gave me a memorial [the art piece] of His faithfulness and His promises.

Speaking of awe, this was the subject of my lead pastor’s sermon Sunday night. Fear narrows one’s focus to the object of one’s fear, which leads to a downward spiral of negative emotions (as exemplified by my fear of art generating AI). But, according to Phycological Science, awe combined with spirituality has the opposite effect. “By making us less focused on the self and more in tune with the present moment, awe may ultimately boost our own individual well-being…The link between awe and spirituality may, at least in part, be explained by an ‘upward spiral’ of positive emotion that ultimately boosts well-being.” Not only did I get to experience yet again God’s care and Him working out all things in my life, but He also showed me a new weapon to combat my fears with: awe of Him.

“For the Lord is good and his love endures forever; his faithfulness continues through all generations.” -Psalm 100:5

May the Lord bless you, and deliver you from all your fears!

Remember God in Your Depression

Anxiety & Depression

As my battle with depression continues, sometimes I feel bitterness setting in. I am tired of the struggle – tired of fighting to be, at a minimum, a functioning human being. I question the state of my mental health a lot. Why is this happening? Why does it sometimes seem to be getting worse, not better? Where is God in all of this? Does He care?

Today I listened to a meditation that reminded me that it’s okay to not be okay, but it is not okay to ignore God. Lately, this is something I have been guilty of. I get frustrated because I do not know the reasons for why I am going through depression. I turn away from the One I sometimes blame for my complicated mental health. Yet, in doing so, I push away from the one source of reliable strength I have.

God makes it clear that the way through this dark valley is by His strength, and not my own:

“We think you ought to know, dear brothers and sisters, about the trouble we went through in the province of Asia. We were crushed and overwhelmed beyond our ability to endure, and we thought we would never live through it. 9 In fact, we expected to die. But as a result, we stopped relying on ourselves and learned to rely only on God, who raises the dead.” – 2 Corinthians 1:8-9

And in the Psalmist’s grief and desperation, he reached out to God rather than turning away:

“Turn to me and be gracious to me,
    for I am lonely and afflicted.
17 Relieve the troubles of my heart
    and free me from my anguish.
18 Look on my affliction and my distress
    and take away all my sins.”

Psalm 25:16-18

So, I too will reach out, and learn to depend on my True Strength. I do not know all the reasons why, and I will not pretend to have unwavering faith, but I will stretch out my hand for God, and trust that He will guide me through as His Word says.